No Regrets

“I have no regrets. Even if I could, I would not change anything in my past. Rather, I look back with gratitude because if it weren’t for my past, I would not be who I am today.”

It’s really easy to look back on your past and think about how different your life would be today had you not made certain decisions. It’s easy to look back and regret choices you’ve made in this life. It’s even common to think that you would do anything to go back and change things that have happened to you. It’s easy to feel shame when thinking about your past and to blame others for things that have happened to you. What’s not easy however is having no regrets. What’s not easy is to understand that past experiences, even if they lead to hard times in life, have been used by God to shape and mold you into the person you are today. There are a lot of things that have happened in my life that I can look back on. Yes, there are lots of mistakes and bad choices, but no regret. While regret is the only thing I used to see, I now see those moments as moments that helped grow me.

Those fake friends who turned on me were the ones who helped me see what it means to be a true friend. They showed me how I never want my friends to feel like they are unwanted or unloved. The people who once made me feel like I was unworthy of having friends showed me the kind of people that I want to have as friends. They helped me find the true friends that I have in my life now. They led me to disregard people who would have treated me the same way they did. I now have people who I love deeply in my life who I know would do anything for me, as I would them. I have friends who lend a listening ear, without using a gossipy mouth. I have friends who love me and stick up for me when the situation arises. I have the friends who I know will be in my life forever. I do not regret having fake friends in my younger years, because they continue to help me be grateful for my friends today.

I don’t regret being bullied. I’m not going to lie; the aftermath of being bullied was real rough. In ways, it still affects me today. Constant insults mixed with being a teenage girl was is not good for the self-esteem. Through most of high school, I had no self esteem whatsoever because of it. It’s actually something that still implicates my life today. Bullying is something that makes someone feel like they are not worthy of anybody, and that is a feeling that seems impossible to get rid of. Self-worth is probably one of the biggest things that changed for me after being bullied for so long. It’s something that I sometimes have to still work on, but I am blessed to have the people around me that I do who help me see that I am worthy of love and I am worthy of being loved. The bullying sometimes still haunts me, but I don’t regret it. It has made me see that I am not what other people say and think, but rather what the people who love me and my heavenly Father say I am. It has helped me see that while those insults once hurt, I am stronger because of them. I know who I really am, and that is a daughter of Christ. No one can take that away.

This last one is something that I regretted for a long time after it happened. Remaining in a draining relationship for so long and learning from it is perhaps one of the biggest things I’m glad happened. I was too young and naïve to see how self- destructing this relationship was, but I learned a lot. Being treated like a game taught me that the man the Lord has for me will respect me instead. Being fooled time and time again taught me that consistency is imperative to a fruitful relationship. Being cheated on has taught me to cherish the people around me full heartedly and that the person God has for me would never do such a thing. The hurt that came from this relationship has been redeemed. The “love” was never truly there, a realization that haunted me for a while. Love is something I was scared of because of him. What I’ve finally realized is that I am better off having this happened. He has taught me everything that I don’t want in a man. He showed me how I should be treated. He has allowed me to see what I deserve, and has taught me to never settle for less. Yes, I am still scarred in some ways from him, and in a way, I might always be. But, I have no regrets. While a lot of pain could have been avoided by not loving him, these lessons are so worth it. I have learned so much from those 7 years, things that have made me who I am today and continue to shape who I will be to my future husband.

Feeling regretful and shameful for your past are lies that come from Satan. Yes, learn from you past mistakes so you don’t make them again, but know that those mistakes do not define you. The Lord has redeemed those mistakes, and you never have to feel ashamed of them again. He has taken them and used them to shape you into the person you are. Your past no longer defines you but rather should motivate you to be a better you. Have no regrets in life, because the King of Kings will use them to make you a better person to further His kingdom. Have no regrets, just shaping moments.

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2 thoughts on “No Regrets

  1. Speechless, you are wise beyond your years my beautiful girl! It is hard to reconcile our past at times but you are right, it shapes us into a better person. I am sorry you were bullied and experienced heartache but I am so proud you have been able to turn it into something positive. God will reward you for your faithfulness. He will put a strong Christian man in your life. We love you Abs and are so proud to be your parents. ❤

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