I spend SO much of my time worrying and stressed out. Lately I’ve been overwhelmed. Trying to balance work and school and all my other commitments has been a real struggle. I’ve been feeling like no matter what I do I drop the ball somewhere. Like I’m in a constant state of failure. I added to that by deciding to stress about my future plans. I have been in the final rounds of interviewing for summer internships and I’ve been anxious that I didn’t know where I was going to end up. I’m finalizing all my plan to travel abroad in the fall and that is stressful. On top of all of this I’ve felt like I was so focused on myself I forgot about the people around me. I felt this disconnect from the person I want to be and the person I was being. I felt like I wasn’t making time to spend with the people I cared about. Then yesterday was a really good day. I got an offer to do my internship at Horseshoe Bay, which is the one I was hoping for. I felt fully prepared for the test I took and am confident I did well. I got out of class early and got to walk home while the sun was still out. I was strolling along when I realized I was being SO ridiculous. I was stressing myself out for no reason.
I am blessed enough to live in a country that not only allows but encourages the education of all of its citizens, regardless of sex. I take school as something to stress over. It’s something I HAVE to do. In reality it is an amazing opportunity I GET to experience. It is something I have worked so hard for; something I have earned. I have this opportunity at my fingertips to live in another country and study there for a whole semester. I shouldn’t stress over this I should celebrate.
I am blessed to have a job that understands I am a student first. A job that helps me build skills to not only be a better employee, but a better leader, and a better person.
I have commitments that I let weigh me down when I should let them lift me up. I get to spend an hour a week with an amazing group of girls who remind me what it’s like to not have to worry. I stress about planning when I should focus on just being in the moment and experiencing.
I worked myself into a panic over the last two weeks about trying to make this huge decision about my future. Which internship would I take? I was so stressed about the fact that I had two amazing opportunities I almost forgot to be excited. Excited by what the future holds and proud of all the hard work that got me here.
I spend so much time being worried that I forget to be anything else. I forget to be grateful, and excited, and proud of myself. I spend so much time worrying that I don’t even realize that I’m happy. That I am doing the best I can and that life is going pretty good. I am happy NOW! Why would I want to waste this? So, this week take some time to appreciate the happiness you exist in and forget about worrying for a little bit. It’s nice to notice the good.
Have a fabulous weekend!